Brad Pitt was once quoted as saying: “Breakfast is my favourite time of day.  With all 6 kids at the table and everyone talking at once, it’s chaotic.  I like to just sit back and enjoy the chaos”.

Well - it turns out that Brad and Angelina likely have a good thing going there, with a family that eats together.

Maybe you would like to see a return to the “good old days”?  A simpler time.  A time without kids being programmed every single waking minute of their little lives.  A time when food was prepared … cooked even … in something other than the microwave or a takeout container.

Well, believe it or not, a recent study has shown that a return to these simpler times my not only boost your child’s brain development, but help them make smart choices about drugs, alcohol and smoking.  Impossible!! you say?  Not … says I (and an article in the Globe & Mail).

The number one thing that you can do to help your kids grow into self-assured, balanced, smart youth is to eat supper together.  Yes.  Really.  It’s that simple.

“Eating as a family can protect children from all sorts of harm, experts say the bonding and connectedness that comes with regular family meals may positively influence the brain development of kids”.

When was the last time your family ate together?  This is really important folks.  And something that requires a bit of organizing (gotta love that crock pot), commitment, and cooperation - but it IS possible.  One of our boys has now started competitive hockey [yes, I caved.  and yes, he made the team - but that's a blog for another day].  Last week he was out the door for hockey over our regular supper hour, SO, we ate supper as a family at 4:30.  Impossible?  No.  Worth it?  Definitely.

Sure our kids are getting tonnes of developmental opportunities to learn every sport known to humankind AND art classes AND music and, and, and … but what they really need is THEIR FAMILY.  My sister-in-law once told me that as long as you keep looking your kids in the eye when they talk to you, you’ll always know where they’re at (physically and psychologically).

Ok -maybe it can’t be every single night, but let’s commit to our future generation of parents, leaders, business people, caregivers … who are our KIDS TODAY - have supper together more often in the week, than not.  It’s been proven.  Everyone will benefit for it and in a big way.  They are worth it.

Chewing Over the Benefits of a Family Meal - Globe & Mail article

It really does.  I remember being struck by how much of an adjustment it was to have children.  Wonderful-yes.  But adjustment nonetheless.  Initially new parents cope by seeking out other people to help them (or, in a wonderful world, those people come offering to help … ).  This is the beginning of the village in raising your new baby (and helping you in the process, as a resident villager).

Many people over the years have commented on how very much boys in our community need their village to participate in raising them.  And the “village” doesn’t specifically have to do with the people living in your home or next door.  The village is really everyone who is actively involved in their lives.  And, of course, in this day-and-age, our definition of family is changing for the better as well - to include more than just blood-relatives.  It’s good friends, teachers, neighbours:  you know, those folks that are just like family only you’re not specifically related to them.

I will talk more about Villages in the future - but for today, I’d like to post this article on Grandparents.  How very important Grandparents are.  And you know what?  These can specifically be your parents / your partner’s parents, but it’s also those “older” folks that have a strong and positive relationship with your kids.  As an example, both of our sets of parents live out of town (and we miss them dearly, and wish they were closer … but that’s another day).

We have been truly blessed with friends (married, 55′ish and live nearby) who love our boys and are a wonderful grandparent-type to them.  They took them camping for the first time in their lives; hiking; throw them in the pool; and (most recently) were the arms outstretched when the baby took his very first steps (!!!).  Most importantly, they love them and hug them and let the boys know that they are special people in their world.  And yes - they teach them.

Enjoy the attached article and let me know what you think.

The Importance of Grandparents

One of the ongoing and interesting conversations between my dear husband and I, is whether or not our 8-year old son should play competitive-level sport.

“WHAT??…” you might say … “they have competitive level sports for kids that young?”

Oh yes they do!  And I have been pretty vocal (when asked) about saying that I think this is too young for kids to be labeled as playing ‘competitive sport’.  They have to try-out and be deemed “good enough” to make the team.  And then - hockey or baseball - they’re on the ice/diamond 4 times a week (!!).

They’re kids.  Shouldn’t they be off doing kid-stuff, like playing and riding their bikes and - well - playing?  Isn’t this putting a higher-than-needed level of competition and expectations on them, that is not only unfair and unnecessary but unhealthy?

Well - that was my opinion.  AND I’m sticking to it.  Well … mostly.

Here’s the dilemma.  We believe that kids and sports are a healthy combination.  Each of our boys plays one main sport / season and then in-between they get exposure to other sports and stuff.  So, for instance, our 8-year old plays hockey in the winter, baseball in the summer and the in-between season (spring) he played volleyball, through a great introductory PUC program.

Ok - so - we agree:  sport is good.  However, hubby and I disagree on the level of sport.  He thinks competitive is good for kids this age if they have the talent.  I think not so very good (please see above for reasons why).

This summer our boy played baseball - houseleague (even though we were asked a number of times if he wanted to tryout for competitive … he’d be really good in competitive … ).  I held to my guns.

In a conversation when talking to my dear hubby, I commented on how unhappy I was with the level and calibre of coaching our son is receiving this season.  And there you have it!~  Hubby very nicely pointed out that this is the key difference between HL and competitive.  That - and the number of times they play - which greatly increases their practice and exposure to skill-building of the sport.

So - what to do?  Hockey season is fast-approaching (yes, I know it’s only the end of July, but we’re going to blink and it will be October).  Allow him to try-out for competitive hockey and see if he makes it - and then live with the schedule - or keep him in HL and (as someone once said to me at my babyshower for said-son-to-be) “strive for mediocrity”.

What do you think?

I remember the day as clearly as if it was yesterday.  I’m in the hospital.  I’ve just given birth to my second son.   It’s in that weeee hour of the morning, when all is quiet - like 4:30 am.  Brand new baby boy in my arms.  I’m looking at his beautiful face and I have a true epiphany.  The light actually goes on for me.

I am the mother of boys.

At that point I realize -  I am a mother of boys.  And I am so happy.  I “get” boys.  I love the energy that is boys.  And no one can beat the mother-son relationship - that’s for sure.

But don’t you find that People say the most amazing things?  Upon having this second boy of mine - and I mean, no sooner was he in this world - and People were saying:  ”so now, I guess you need to keep trying for that girl!”.  As if this is the ultimate accomplishment.  

To those People - even today - I say ” I am blessed to be the mother of boys, and if I had 6 children - I think they would all be boys.  And I would love that”.

Then, some of those People roll their eyes (like I’m nuts) and say “ohhhh … boys” (some even cluck or tsk-tsk).  To which I say:  ”Yes! boys!”.

So, if you are the parent of one (or more) boys, don’t despair.  We’re in a secret, FABulous club.  And those not in “it”, just don’t get “it”.  And that’s ok.  We can smile our secret smiles, have our secret handshakes and start our own quiet revolution on how wonderful it is to have a pack of boys and all that testosterone in our house.